How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
