I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
