are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
