dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
