I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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