Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
How external is "for external use only"?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
