I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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