Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
