if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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