Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
