everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
