I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
