Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
