I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We're too hungover to prance.
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