He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
