Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
3 2 1 whiskey
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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