I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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