I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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