Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
