I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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