Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
