Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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