***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
