it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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