You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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