Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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