I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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