I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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