you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
