I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
