I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
