Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
