I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
