I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
did i just pee glitter
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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