thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
