smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
