True but thats because hes a fetus.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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