His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
