i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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