doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
