too bad you live with your parents still
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
