Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
