sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
