no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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