Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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