i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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