What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
