Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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