I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
