therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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