Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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