Buhtt sex?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
